Mary Thompson Hill Willard

MTHWillard.jpeg

Mary Thompson Hill Willard

September 5, 1861

With my heart feeling heavier than it ever felt before, I sat down in the house. Tug chattered in the parlor-Mary was writing upstairs;-Father read the " New Englander" just beside me. Mother was in bed. I thought over every chance of help & relief. We instinctively tryto escape from our unhappiness. I resolved to tell my Mother& ask her advice.

Thank God for Mother! How she listened& was sorry a comforted me! She told me if we loved each other so much -if parting was to cause such suffering, it was God's witness that we had the right to love each other as of yore. She never knew how much we "cared "-there was noneed for us to suffer-to turn a thing so sweet & sacred into a blight a canker. Mother, dear -Mother! You did not know how thirsty I was for the words? I took them as from an Oracle-believed them, treasured them-made her repeat them again & again-"love eachother all you wish to, make yourselves happy in it-say nothing about it-do your duty by the others for whom you care."

I never loved her more-I wanted to stoop down& kiss her forehead as she lay there-but I did not dare-we never do such things. Mother views it in the light of our suffering now, & thinks justice to ourselves permits the course she showed to me. 

Frances Willard expressed a deep respect for her mother, Mary Thompson Hill Willard.  Despite most of Frances Willard’s accounts of her mother contained within just a few words in each daily entry, she spent much of her time with her mother.  Frances Willard very rarely shared conversations with her mother, but usually summarized her mother’s activities in succinct reports.  The most common entries that mentioned Mary Thompson Hill Willard reflected her daily duties; “Mother sewed,” “Mother baked,” or “Mother read.”

This journal entry highlights the relationship between Frances Willard and Mary Thompson Hill Willard.  Despite the often lack of detail surrounding the interactions between them in the journals, this excerpt exposes the close, caring relationship that they shared.  Frances Willard entrusted her emotions and internal conflicts to her mother, sought her advice, and expressed gratitude for their relationship.

Mary Thompson Hill Willard proved highly influential throughout Frances Willard’s life.  Her daughter’s earliest ideas on religion, family, and the role of women developed from her observations and relationships to the women around her, including her mother.  Frances Willard’s earliest influences originated within her family before creating wider networks outside of her home.  Mary Thompson Hill Willard influenced the young Frances Willard to form close relationships with the women around her, expand her knowledge through reading, and inspire an advisory role that shaped what became Frances Willard’s lasting impact in her adult years.

Mary Hill Willard.jpg

Mary Thompson Hill Willard

January 2, 1875

My dear mother is 70 tomorrow & Mary, her dutiful daughter in law has with the help of two or three of our kind neighbors, prepared her a "surprise." Kate & I went up at 10 AM to help [........ ]. The house was festooned-an elegant lunch prepared-presents set in order-old friends gathered & mother summoned from a neighbor where she had gone as she supposed on a bonafide visiting expedition by invitation.

-She was thoroughly surprised but has so much self-poise she didnt show it much. Mary said "She didn't shatter worth a cent!" Dear Mother! I thought about our Mary who died & how much she would have loved to be here today! Must arrange to have Mother with me as soon as possible. This way I don't think natural or the best though she is so wedded to that pleasant Cottage father left her, I don't know as she will ever leave it.

Frances Willard wrote about her mother in a couple of distinct ways throughout her journals.  Most of her records on her mother remained succinct and largely emotionless.  They instead simply stated what Mary Thompson Hill Willard did on a given day and whom she spent time with.  This journal excerpt, however, exposes the more rare yet deeply emotive response that Frances Willard felt toward her mother.

Although the young Frances Willard may not have claimed her mother as her primary role model, her reactions to her mother’s behaviors and activities exhibit the influential power of Mary Thompson Hill Willard’s opinion on her daughter.  Even when they were apart, Frances Willard constantly considered her mother in her actions and decisions.

This journal section also highlights the relationship between all of the Willard women.  Frances Willard expressed her wish to be with her mother again and her sadness that her sister, Mary Willard, was no longer able to join them.  Frances Willard’s early years were shaped by the people that she spent most of her time with, her mother and sister.  Even into adulthood, her memories of the Willard women trio found their way into Willard’s consciousness.

People
Mary Thompson Hill Willard